Junk in June: Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe

A few years back I bought a pack of movies from Amazon simply called 9 Action Movies starring Hulk Hogan & Jesse Ventura.  I picked it up not only for the film I’m writing about today but also because the movies on the set also featured Roddy Piper and Asbjørn Riis. The icing on the cake was being able to get both Shadow Warriors films starring Hulk Hogan which are pricey separately.

Abraxas , Guardian of the Universe released in 1990 stars Jesse “The Body” Ventura (WWE). Jesse has been in a handful of films including a memorable role as Blaine, the mini-gun toting soldier in the 1987 film Predator. Jesse Ventura is probably most known as that professional wrestler who became the governor of Minnesota or that guy who talks about all those conspiracies on that one show. Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe is about two intergalactic cops known as finders, Abraxas played by “The Body” and Secundus played by Danish body builder, Sven-Ole Thorsen. Finders have a certain set of directives they must follow and are virtually immortal. Abraxas has been a finder for near 10,000 years and Secundus as told to us by Abraxas is a renegade, who he has been tasked to apprehend. Renegades happen every once in a while because as Abraxas tells us that over the many years of being a finder you see things and do things that take their toll. Secundus comes to Earth because he needs a woman’s body so he may create a comater. A comater retains the anti-life equation he desires which will allow him to be the most powerful being in the universe. Upon Secundus simply touching a young woman, a comater is conceived and born almost instantly. Abraxas ordered to kill the woman and the possible comater that is within her hesitates because of his firm grasp on the concept of right and wrong. The film then jumps forward 5 years to when Abraxas is ordered once again to kill the comater before Secundus, who has returned, obtains the anti-life equation.


The cut included on this DVD looks and sounds like it was ripped directly from an old VHS tape. I think that really adds to the experience although I would love to see a remaster released. Abraxis, Guardian of the Universe feels more like an 80’s film than a 90’s film but I don’t hold that against it, it is entertaining despite it’s ham-fisted ineptitude. Abraxas is a mess and could possibly be called one of the worst films made from technical and plot standpoints, however, it was made with heart in my opinion redeeming it from its shortcomings. The movie knows what it wants to be and does it. It doesn’t care that it leaves many questions unanswered. It simply wants to take you on a ride where these two ancient beings are pitted against each other, Secundus looking for the comater to retrieve the anti-life equation and Abraxas, hell bent on protecting the comater because of his moral fortitude. It’s a cheesy movie with decent special effects for its time. There is plenty of awkward line delivery from both Jesse Ventura and Sven-Ole but that only lends to it’s appeal to me.  If you like your movies full of cheese and acting that isn’t quite the greatest I feel you will get a kick out of this film. The soundtrack is odd and doesn’t seem to entirely fit the movie but I still enjoyed it. I especially like the song Strong As Am by the Prime Movers which plays near the final showdown. Jesse delivers his lines in a robotic manner but it really works for the character, who is a total outsider from the human race despite his human appearance. If you are a fan of Jesse Venutra or just a fan of B-movies you owe it to yourself to give this a shot.

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